


the matchless matchmaker

by Arlenes_family_fun (Arlene0401)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Wooing, Dating Agency, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 14:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17768501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlenes_family_fun
Summary: Eren is an excellent matchmaker, one of the best at Rose's Dating Agency. So why... just why is he so horribly inapt at finding a date for this particular client...?





	the matchless matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aishteruki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishteruki/gifts).



> My gift for [amaterartsu](https://amaterartsu.tumblr.com) for the ereri Valentine exchange!

With a content little hum, Eren placed Ms. Ral’s and Mr. Bozado’s files in his “settled” cabinet. Another happy couple, another job well done. In the day and age of dating apps for every fancy and audience, “Rose’s Dating Agency” still thrived. Their services were discreet and their success rate extraordinary. Satisfied customers recommended them, and they were never short of wealthy clientele.

The secret of the agency’s success was not to rely on computer algorithms. Every client and match was viewed by a human handler, all of them talented in finding the partner who would click. Eren especially had a knack of finding matches among partners every algorithm would have dismissed. What you needed was not 100% conformity of character traits and interests, but a good chemistry. And thus, primary school teacher and athletic overachiever Petra Ral had found pug breeder and part-time poet Oluo Bozado. No computer would have matched them up, but Eren knew that Ms Ral would be perfect to draw Mr Bozado out of his shell and give him some real life attachment to the world other than his dogs, and that he would keep her grounded and ease her restlessness.

A soft knock on his door frame caused him to turn his head. His assistant Sasha wore an apologetic expression. He had a hunch it wasn’t due to her raiding all the peaches from his fruit bowl in the breakroom again (after all, he had long ago started bringing much more fruit than he could reasonably eat).

“I’m sorry Eren, I already told him he doesn’t have an appointment, but he just won’t leave…”

Eren’s heart sank. “Mr. Ackerman?”

She nodded, eyes darting nervously back to the small waiting area beyond their offices.

He sighed. “It’s okay. Just give me a minute.” He sat behind his desk and quickly checked his schedule. As usual it was crammed full, but if he managed to get this over quickly and cut his lunch break short it would be fine.

Watching Sasha’s back disappear from view, Eren resigned to his fate. He refrained from taking out Mr Ackerman’s depressingly thick file and instead wiped up some pollen that had settled around a vase full of tulips on his desk, and straightened his tie. The little flip in his stomach was resolutely ignored. Mr Ackerman was off limits. Mr Ackerman was a client. Mr Ackerman was not his to pine over.

Another knock announced his oldest and most frustrating client. Frustrating in more aspects than Eren could name. On a dark morning in late February last year he had breezed in, the most jaw-droppingly beautiful person Eren had ever laid eyes on. Glossy black hair, heart-shaped face. Grey eyes that seemed to pierce into your very soul. A short but harmonious figure that spoke of many hours at the gym. Slender, elegant hands. He had brusquely announced that he didn’t feel like spending another Valentine’s Day alone, and listed off his requirements that were both highly specific and incredibly vague. From that day on, he rejected every date Eren arranged for him. Men, women, gorgeous or homely, outgoing or introvert, Mr Ackerman turned them all down.

His client sat down without being prompted, and glowered. “I thought I clarified that I don’t want to spend another Valentine’s Day alone,” he said by way of greeting. “It’s only a week from now.”

“Good morning to you, Mr Ackerman,” Eren couldn’t help but quip. “I’m awfully sorry if you are disappointed in our services, However, there is never a guarantee -”

Mr Ackerman ran a hand through his hair in exasperation, and one strand didn’t fall back into place, but instead stuck out in a way that was both comical and endearing in someone who was so meticulous about his looks. Everything about Mr Ackerman, from his silver-rimmed glasses to the polished shoes, was immaculate. Eren found himself wishing to reach out and smooth the other man’s hair down.

“I’ve asked you a million times over to call me Levi.”

Eren winced. It was inappropriate to address a client by their first name. But a tiny, greedy, selfish part of him wanted to savour the man’s name rolling off his tongue. Sensing him waver, Mr Ackerman leaned forward with a winning smile.

“I could call you Eren, if that makes you feel better. We’ve known each other for a year now, what do you think? Your boss won’t have to know.”

“Alright then. Levi.” Eren’s face felt like it was going to ignite any moment. He heaved a breath and wiped a nonexistent speck of dust from his desk to get his bearings again. “Now that this is settled - I feel really bad about this, but it’s… testing to find someone among our clients who fits your profile and vice versa.”

“Look, it can’t be that difficult. My requirements are far from impossible to meet. I want someone with with a decent head on their shoulders -”

“Mr. Arlert had the highest IQ of all the people fitting your profile -”

“- and is now in charge of my legal department. Yes, Mr. Arlert is a very bright person, a great character and I like him a lot. But you see, he’s not the one to capture my heart. It takes more than just brains. For example, passion. Someone who burns for something…”

“Dr. Zoe - I believe she’s a brilliant neurobiologist who specializes in ontogeny and is researching brain dysfunctions and dementia.”

“Amongst others. I put her into my lab and provided her with all the funds she could ask for. In five years, she will have found a cure for Alzheimer’s. Or created a new super race that will wipe out humanity.”

Levi, as far as Eren knew, had inherited a fortune and a pharmaceutical imperium of questionable reputation from his uncle and turned it into a remarkably altruistic medical research institute. Mr. Arlert and Dr. Zoe may not have been a romantic match for Levi, but in every other aspect had struck gold.

Eren was acutely aware what the problem was. It was himself. He was biased, his heart wasn’t in this, and thus he delivered subpar results. With a heavy heart, he swallowed to grind out what he should have told Levi long ago.

“Mr. Ackerman… Levi - I fear I’m not the right person to serve you. We have some very capable staff members, I’m sure that Ms. Reiss or Mr. Bott will be more than happy to take over for me.” He looked down at his folded hands, finding a little solace in the fact that he had been able to keep his voice from trembling.

To his surprise, Levi laughed softly. “On the contrary, I think you are the perfect person to find me my dream partner. You think my demands were too vague? Okay, I’ll make them more specific.”

Eren looked up to meet Levi’s eyes and see a strange mixture of mischief and embarrassment sparkle in them. His usually composed client was fidgeting. Apparently he was about to disclose something he didn’t feel entirely comfortable sharing.

“I haven’t specified gender before, but in fact I’m interested in a man.” Eren scrambled to get a sheet of paper and a pen, but Levi held up a hand to stop him. “No no, you won’t need to write that down. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Okay.” Eren leaned back, but despite his relaxed pose he felt far from relaxed. His entire being thrummed with excitement like a hot wire. Finally, he would learn more about what Levi wanted.

“As I said, I’m looking for someone who is passionate, who always gives his all. Who never backs down from a challenge and is never satisfied unless he’s convinced he did his best. That applies to both professional and private life.”

Eren thought of his nearly perfect success rate at the agency, thanks to both his intuition and his tireless efforts. Of his voluntary work at the local refugee camp and the animal shelter. He’d never thought of it as something special, but realizing that someone like Levi might appreciate it made him puff up internally a little.

“I want him to be well groomed, clean and tidy. Nothing kills my boner quicker than unkempt fingernails or dirty laundry lying around.” 

Did Eren imagine Levi’s eyes flicking down to his neatly filed fingernails? This point… well. His office was always immaculate due to being open to clients, but his home… Eren was prone to surround himself with a mild flavor of messiness he called comfortable. But that could be improved, right?

“I have a thing for tall men,” Levi continued. “Bonus points if they’re young.” He noticed Eren’s apprehensive face and corrected himself. “Younger than me. Please, Eren, I’m not a pervert. Well, at least not a cradle robber.” He had the nerve to wink despite the faint blush spreading on his cheeks.

“Finally, the looks. I’ve never had what you could consider a type, but lately I changed my mind. As I already stated, tall. Well built. Chestnut hair, green eyes. Handsome face, good skin, although prone to a five o’clock shadow.”

Levi’s words only reached Eren faintly. His heart beat so hard it pounded in his ears. _eren.exe has stopped working_ , his hysterical brain supplied. Him. Levi had just described him. This couldn't be. _Couldn’t_. There was absolutely no way in hell this was happening. He had probably suffered a stroke and was hallucinating.

After watching him work his mouth around sounds that wouldn’t come out, Levi sighed. “Looks like I’ll have to delete ‘smart’ from my list. But either way, it doesn’t change a thing. It’s just… I’m terrible at these things, so I had hoped you would make it easier for me. Well. Seems like I have to spell it out for you.”

To Eren’s absolute horror and delight - he really couldn’t tell which - Levi went down on one knee and reached for his hand.

“Eren Jaeger, will you be my Valentine?”

Somehow, Eren must have managed to voice an affirmative, because a considerate while later he found himself kissing Levi in a manner that was positively inappropriate for a work environment. A polite cough from the doorway finally interrupted them.

“I take it we can delete Mr. Ackerman from our clients list?”

“Uh, yes Sasha, thank you.”

She nodded and closed the door behind her, but still they could hear her stage whisper: “Hey Marco, you owe me a dinner!”

Both men chuckled awkwardly. Now that he was finally able to touch, Eren’s fingers were unable to stop caressing Levi’s neck and face, and he was amazed and thrilled beyond anything he had ever experienced to feel him lean into the touch.

“You were right, you’re really terrible at this.” At Eren’s words, Levi’s eyes blinked open, reminding him of a content cat. “You could have asked me out long ago and spare us a year of pining.”

“Well, you could have asked me out too.”

“Levi, you are - you were my client. There’s no way I could have hit on you.”

“Oh. Right.” Levi chewed his lip. “And here I thought you were just playing hard to get.”

Eren sighed in mock exasperation. “ _And_ you went and ruined my perfect statistics. I hope you plan to make it up to me.”

“I will, I promise.” Levi took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Does a Valentine’s Day dinner at l’Arpege sound like a good start?” 

Eren frowned. “Is that the new restaurant down by the town hall?” 

“No, it’s in Paris. Paris, France.” When Eren’s jaw dropped, Levi started fidgeting again. “Is it… is it not good? Look, I told you I’m shit at this, this was all Armin’s - I mean Mr. Arlert’s idea, he figured out what’s going on immediately, and he told me to get my shit together and confess to you before it’s too late, and he - Eren, will you stop laughing for a goddamn minute?” 

Still laughing, Eren kissed him again. 


End file.
